Artist, David Shrigley

(Setting: The Cerebrum Lounge)

Inner I: Well. You must be very pleased with yourself.

Inner E: What? Hang on, I love this song…Mum mum mum mah! P-p-p-poker face!

Inner I: You know very well what I’m talking about. This blog we started – introvertini.

Inner E: Blog? Oh yes. Great social medium. Carry on! Mum mum mum mah….

Inner I: That’s just it. You know I’m not social. You’re the social one. I’m an introvert.

Inner E: Oh look, it’s Pat and Edie!  Get over here, you two!

Inner I: You’re not listening.

Inner E: I’m all ears. You’re insecure.

Inner I: Not insecure. Introvert.

Inner E: Insecure, introvert. Same thing. Isn’t Edie a doll?

Inner I: She’s a pip. And no, it’s not the same thing.

Inner E: So what’s the problem?

Inner I: The problem is there’s this blog that needs writing.

Inner E: And….? (Turning aside) Waiter! More shrimp over here!

Inner I: And now you seem to be preoccupied so I’ll have to do it.

Inner E: So do it.

Inner I: (Scuffling feet and looking down) Dmntwnaa…

Inner E: What?

Inner I:  I said I don’t wanna.

Inner E: And why in the world not?

Inner I: Not sociable. Don’t feel like talking.

Inner E: Oh for heaven’s sake. I’ll never understand you.

Inner I: Duh.

Inner E: Anyway, wasn’t this whole thing your idea? What do I know from introvert? I’m an extravert.

Inner I: That’s beside the point.

Inner E: Not really.

Inner I: Fine.  I’ll do it later. Right now, I just need some time to myself.

Inner E: You’re weird. Everyone thinks so.

Inner I: Not everyone.

Inner E: At least 75% of the people I know.

Inner I: You said everyone.


NEXT:  you call it 75%, I call it the lower three quartiles.

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